More Tales of My Celebrity Fit Club

Today I continued The Original Celebrity Juice Diet, going hour after consecutive hour--without food. I drove Madison to school this morning, with the other four kids tagging along, where we'd meet up with Paula who was attending a parent-teacher conference. On the way, I got the kids breakfast at Krispy Kreme. I sat in the driver's seat and pulled one donut after another out of the bag, passing them back in easy-to-use napkin holders.

One particular donut was stuck to the bottom of the bag, and I had to use my bare hands to yank it out. It was warm and it oozed with freshness, leaving sticky flakes of glaze all over my fingers. Ordinarily, I would have licked this off--but I showed the restraint of a Benedictine monk, by calmly wiping the frosting off with a napkin. Meanwhile, the twins tossed their chocolate-covered with sprinkles donuts on the floor of the van because "they didn't like them." Ugh.

I made it through lunch this time without too much trouble--no lunch invitations--and I was so hungry for my juice at noon that I had a hard time drinking it slow.

Following an afternoon meeting it was 5:15, and I got in the car thinking about the shakes at Steak and Shake. I called Paula to give her an update on my whereabouts, then asked her how the diet was going. She guffawed. She hadn't been doing the diet all day! She had stopped and hadn't told me! The juice made me retch, she said. Well, thanks for telling ME, I wanted to scream. I was appalled--and couldn't believe that this thing I was doing for her--for us, and for our future, and our children's future--she had just "stopped" hours ago! I felt like such a fool. I wanted to know what she cheated on me with... was it a breakfast sandwich, a bagel, a coke? Or had she held out until lunch at least?

To think, I had been feeling really good about my progress--when I awoke this morning I learned that I had lost a pound, and by this writing, I am completing my third day without a soda. When I learned the news, I had the thought that, "I'll show her... I'll finish this diet, lose my ten pounds--and I'll have done it." But I was too hungry, and now I had Steak and Shake on the mind. If I was going to get off this ride, I was going to do it right, so I drove home looking for Steak and Shake. Amazing how many McDonald's there are... but I drove for an hour before finally giving in to Checkers. I gobbled down a Champ with cheese burger (two patties on that--mustard never tasted so good), had a couple of fries (meet Mr. Restraint), and a small chocolate shake.

For a few minutes there I wasn't hungry--and I wasn't full... Nirvana. But about a half an hour later, I felt a little sick. From Monday night to Tuesday lunch, I went 10 hours sans food. And then from after lunch Tuesday to dinner time Wednesday, I went 29.5 hours without solid food. Wow.

Plans for tomorrow? I'm going to do the juice for at least one meal, possibly two. I had planned on doing this through Thursday, so this will be my Hybrid-Juice Diet, if this system works, I might be able to sell mine to the stars! Plus, I'm determined to get something out of this starvation diet--I will not suffer like this for naught!