Future John

I try to think of Future John, but Today John has all the power. Take right now as an example, I really should take out the garbage... Future John will not want to wake up any earlier than he has to just because Today John was "too tired" to do it.

But do you know what, Future John? I always have to do everything--and all you do is complain that it's not done yet! Well guess what? You can get up in the morning and scoop the cat guano, you can collect the bags full of sopping Pull-Ups, and you can drag the barrel of trash down the hill--because right now--I'm eating my Barbecue Pringles that you're going to regret in the morning!

Wow, Future John is going to be pissed.